ARREST MADE IN CONNECTICUT ATTACK! MOTIVE REVEALED!

OFFICIALS ANNOUNCE DETAILS OF ARREST IN CONNECTICUT ATTACK

Officials from the FBI and the Indiana State Police held a joint press conference today announcing the arrest of Winny "The Poo" Ceegull as a suspect in the Connecticut poo attack of Taylor student, Emilie Boyes of Norwich, CT. Boyes was attacked by a seagull in late December while strolling on a Connecticut Beach with her boyfriend, Mark Garringer. PNA tests had revealed a mid-west connection after secret ingredients from an Indiana restaurant chain were found in the poo.


FBI surveillance picture of Whinny "The Poo" Ceegull

Officials from Scotty's Brewhouse helped police CSI units trace the source to their Muncie operation. FBI agent Hoo Phlung Poo related details of the arrest after receiving numerous tips from stool pigeons on the FBI's 1-800-POO-STOPPERS FREE phone line. Indiana State Police investigation team Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe helped cracked the case.

Could this be the future look for Mr. Smeltzer and Mr. Vogler?

For those of you who don't know, Daddy V has entered the age of technology by adding a cell phone and a lap tap computer to my personal possessions. I have always tried to keep "up-to-date" on the latest innovations but sometimes I have to be smacked in the face with them before I pay attention. It became brutally clear when Emilie Boyes showed me her Christmas present (from someone special) and I had no idea what it was! (an Ipod!) Last night, I took my Toshiba SuperXL-TurboCharged-LuxuryEdition laptop with me to bed and watched the ESPN Drum Corps International broadcast while my lovely wife peacefully snored the night away. Heaven - I'm in Heaven.

My wife and daughters have applauded loudly as I have entered this new era in my already challenging life, but the line must be drawn somewhere and I think, in reference to the above photo, the line has been drawn! The new style for next fall, gents, will be leggings - yes, you read that right, leggings for men! I have never been exactly a slave of fashion and I don't plan on starting now. I know very few women who look good in leggings let alone men. Made of microfibre cotton and wool blend they all have stirrups except for the ones, of course, that are cut above the knee. I wouldn't care if they were spun gold, I can't believe that any more than 10% of our population could look good in something like this - male and female.

Am I right or wrong! Talk to me...I'm

Daddy "Permanent Wedgy" V

INDIANA GOVERNOR APOLOGIZES FOR ATTACK....PROMISES SWIFT ACTION!

Indiana governor Mitch Daniels apologizes for Connecticut attack.

In an unprecendented move, Indiana governor Mitch Daniels used his State of the State address to apolgize to Emilie Boyes and her family for the vicious attack sustained by Boyes on a Connecticut beach. Daniels remarked "It saddens me to know that Miss Boyes was assaulted by a Hoosier seagull. I believe that this is just the tip of the iceburg. It all goes back to the drop in the state ISTEP scores and I believe that full-day kindergarten could have prevented such a cowardly attack." Daniels also invited Miss Boyes to return to the Hoosier state soon to finish her education.


Daniels remarked "Hoosier hospitality is my number one concern. If Miss Boyes can pick up the pieces of her shattered life, we will help her put them back together." Boyes had no comment on her immediate plans. Daniels went on to say that he will appoint a special Indiana State Police taskforce to further investigate the incident, look for possible mob links, and narrow down the list of suspects. So far, the only lead in the case is the PNA results which indicated that the poo contained special ingredients from menu items available in an Indiana restaurant chain. A Scotty's Brewhouse spokesman indicated "We are outraged by this crime and are working closely with authorities in their investigation."

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT...

I've watched Neil Cavuto on PBS and Fox News for years and I have always respected his opinion and especially enjoyed his "Common Sense" segments. Below is one of these segments. It might not mean much to you now but it will in the future. As someone who face the "Big C" and survived my approach to daily life and money has certainly changed. READ AND REMEMBER

Daddy V

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Saving for a Rainy Day

By Neil Cavuto

I don't think I ever met a saver like Al.
In the '80s when everyone was spending, Al wasn't.
When people with his money were buying big homes, Al was staying put in his very small home.
When others in his league bought BMWs and Mercedes, Al bought used Impalas — always Impalas.
When friends traveled the world, Al and family traveled to New York's Catskills.
He was rich by most standards, but frugal by any standard.
"Just in case," he'd tell me. "Just in case. I want to be ready."
And he was — for the downsizing that came and the adjustments that followed.
Al was ready. Al was liquid. Al was rich. Al... was prepared.
For every financial possibility, except the one thing he didn't see coming at all: cancer.
Stage four — non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
Bad. Very bad. And fatal, very fatal.
Al is dying. Fast.
The man who feared he might out-live his money will now see his money comfortably out-live him.
All the trips he never took. All the things he never enjoyed. All the treats he never had.
A moot point. A moot life. And Al wonders.
"Maybe I should have splurged a little more." Then he adds, "at least the family's got something."
Which is more than Al can say.
Living testament to the fact it is good to save for a rainy day. It is also good to prepare for the possibility you might never see it.

THE INVESTIGATION CONTINUES......

Officials today released a police artist's sketch of the seagull believed to be behind the unprovoked attack on Emilie Boyes last month in Connecticut. In addition to the sketch, police have also released details of the PNA (Poo Neucleic Acid) analysis that was performed following the attack.


Following extensive testing, it was determined that the aviary fecal material included special ingredients known to come from a specialized food item called "Scooters" which are only available at a local Indiana restaurant chain called "Scottie's Brewhouse." This has helped police narrow the search area to the state of Indiana. The restaurant chain operates 4 eateries in the state. FBI agent Hoo Phlung Doo reported that his agency is now working to narrow down the exact Scottie's location which should also allow them to narrow the search area for the perpetrator(s). Officials have yet to come up with a motive for the brutal attack although speculation revolves around Boye's association with the color guard program of the Patriot Band in Portland, Indiana. Interim color guard director Pete "Daddy V" Vogler told reporters, "I will not tolerate any of our staff members being dumped on in this fashion. We need to wipe out this problem and get to the bottom of it as soon as possible!" He later added "it is kind of funny though."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LUCIA HART!

Lucia turns 1 on Sunday, January 14th and, after a scary start, it's nice to see that she continues to experience growth and good health. Obviously, she gets her good looks from her mommy!

Daddy V

CONCERT BAND - PAIN OR PLEASURE? IT'S UP TO YOU!

Imagine going into your geometry class and telling the teacher that you only wanted to study circles but not squares. Or you told your biology teacher that you wanted to study plants but not animals. Or you told the driver's ed teacher that (since you are a staunch conservative) you only make right hand turns! How many of you would expect that teacher to give consideration to your request? Unfortunately, many of you in band feel that we should design the band curriculum around your individual wants and desires. In the words of Mr. Humbert, everyone wants to go to Heaven, but no one wants to die!

Band, believe it or not, is considered an academic subject. Because of this, there are certain guidelines or standards (9 in all) that the band staff must follow. Standards such as these are used to judge the value of each class offered at Jay County High School. If the band staff does not cover these standards, they are directed to do so or the program will be cut. (here are standards for the guard dance class also) Believe it or not, these standards mention nothing about pep band or marching band - they are based solely on music education goals - goals which ultimately should make us better players, musicians, (there is a difference) and, in the long run, better students!

A small reminder for those of you who were around last year. Do you remember Mr. Smeltzer, Ms. Guise and myself standing in front of you on the first day of concert band and stating "this is the first day of getting ready for State Fair" (or words to that affect) Do you remember who won the music caption both morning and evening at last year's State Fair? In was not a coincidence!
So, like it or not, concert band is a mandated program which ultimately will lead to success in marching contests (if that is your goal) or if nothing else, will make you a better musician, student, and a more well-rounded person!
Incidentally, those 9 standards include:

1. Singing alone and with others - Yup! Even in band!
2. Playing an instrument alone and with others - We got this one down!
3. Reading, notating, and interpreting music. Somewhat covered.
4. Improvising melodies and accompaniments.
5. Composing and arranging music within specific guidelines
6. Listening to, analyzing, and describing music.
7. Understanding relationships between music, the other arts, and disciplines outside the arts.
8. Understanding music in relation to history and culture.
9. Evaluating music and music performances.

So what do you think? Talk to me, I'm......

Daddy V

SUSPECTS IN BRUTAL ATTACK SPOTTED ON NEW JERSEY BEACH!

An amateur photographer from Seaside Heights, NJ, caught this photo of the two seagulls who may be responsible for the unprovoked attack on Emilie Boyes, Patriot Guard caption head. Boyes, who was attacked while walking on a Connecticut beach with her boyfriend Mark Garringer, could not be reached for comment. Due to the appearance of the suspects in New Jersey, the FBI has been called in. Special Agent in Charge, Hoo Phlung Doo, has offered no definate ID on the suspects but believes that they are of Midwestern origin, possibly landfill gulls. It was hoped that Garringer could help with the identification of the gulls but when asked he replied "I was too busy laughing!"

Doo has asked for help from local law enforcement officials in tracking down these suspects so that a positive poo ID can be made. Meanwhile, Boyes, who is recovering in her suburban Connecticut home, is schedule to meet with a police sketch artist tomorrow.

Anyone with information about this crime should call Poo Stoppers at 1-800-WHO-FLUNGDUNG FREE

LOCAL GUARD INSTRUCTOR ATTACKED ON CONNECTICUT BEACH!

Emilie Boyes, color guard design genius and current color guard instructor for the Patriot Band was attacked by a rabid seagull recently as she strolled the otherwise tranquil beaches of Connecticut. With her loyal boyfriend Mark Garringer close by her side, Boyes was dive bombed by the kamakazi gull who seemed to have her squarely in it's sights! Garringer said he thought he heard the gull exclaim "a present from the South", a possible reference to the fear that Boyes has instilled in the Muncie South guard program, but as Garringer added "it could have been the wind." When Garringer asked Boyes if she needed some toilet paper, she reportedly said "ah, don't worry about it - that bird's miles away by now!" Boyes was not hurt in the attack.

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, SECRETARY!

OK, Secretary! Quit your complaining and enjoy your boys in green! I guess they are good once in a while!

Daddy V